[for greyorder] the Force works in mysterious ways

[morally_cryptic]

Anakin has had plenty of time to come to understand that there are things to the Force he just doesn't understand and will never. It doesn't matter how much power he's held in it, how much of both the Light and the Dark that he's seen, or that he had just spent about thirty years living after death as some sort of energy ghost.

Emphasis on had.

One moment, he was floating the vast span of the Force's energy field, just keeping an eye on the family since actually trying to more directly intervene had proven itself to be an unsuccessful strategy.

The next moment he's lying on the floor, somewhere, groaning and aching.

And naked.

None of these things add up, Anakin thinks as he tries to sit up and take in his surroundings. The only good thing about feeling the heavy weight of his body surrounding him is at least it's not made mostly of metal. That's a plus.

Comments

[greyorder]

Ben's quarters at the Resistance base aren't anything noteworthy, as firstly, Leia would never give blatant preferential treatment to her son and secondly, Ben had beaten her to the punch by asking her not to. The room Anakin found himself in was plain and clearly not used much; there was a thick rug to sit on for meditating, a few holo-photos on a crate that had been turned into a makeshift dresser full of Ben's spare clothes, since his mother insisted he would get a cold running around in the winter without proper robes. There was a toy BB-8 made out of yarn Poe had gotten him as a gag gift sitting on the bed, but other than that, it could have been anyone's room.

Ben enters the room with the energy of a hurricane, turbulent and fast and a flash of dark colors. Through the Force he would best be sensed as a sea of contradictions, hope and despair, self-hatred and arrogance, wrapped into one being. At the sight of someone on the floor, his first instinct is no longer to draw his lightsaber, although that's mostly because his father threw it into the abyss back on Starkiller Base. Instead, it's a long-suffering sigh.

"Let me guess: you got drunk and couldn't remember which room was yours." The ability of people in this organization to get plastered after missions, victorious or otherwise, was breathtaking. He pinches the bridge of his nose, dark rings under his eyes revealing just how little sleep he's had. "I'm not in the mood to escort you to Medical, I-"

Then he catches sight of Anakin's face, and everything stops.

The Force stopped answering the prayers of Ben Solo long before he became Kylo Ren. He didn't expect it to start afterwards. And he certainly would have remembered praying for this. "...who are you?" he asks, swallowing, trying to reign in any sense of hope rising in him. The strong Force presence and near-familial resemblance was a coincidence, surely.

[morally_cryptic]

Anakin groans again, pinching the bridge of his nose and sitting up fully. "I wish I'd only just gotten drunk at least then I-..."

Pause.

He stares up at Ben, disbelieving. They can both be in denial a moment together. Then he shoves himself up into a standing position, heedless of his lack of clothing, so he can be eye-to-eye with his grandson. That recognition only means his presence in the Force flares more brightly, a little like a supernova someone's managed to contain.

Once upon a time it was more like a supernova barely kept contained and leaking around the edges. Then it was like a black hole folding in on itself and destroying everything around it.

This is an improvement.

"I think you know the answer to that already, Ben."

[greyorder]

His first reaction once he gets past shock - well, alright, his second reaction, his first is to look away from the unclothed form - is to put a hand on his lightsaber, though he doesn't ignite it just yet. It's a new lightsaber, freshly made, untainted by the energies Luke's carries that tend to interfere with his ability to stay clear-headed. In the Force, Ben is grey, an unstable clash of Light and Dark that he's learning to live with, more or less, but Anakin? When Ben tries to read him in the Force, he is too bright to look at, to understand.

After a pause, Ben takes a deep breath, marches over to his makeshift dresser and throws a spare tunic and pants at his grandfather. "I don't know if this is really happening or if I have, finally, had a complete breakdown, but either way, pants are very much a requirement for... whatever discussion you're here to have with me."

He wants to point out that right now is a bit late for this sort of intervention, that this discussion would have been great back when he was still Luke's padawan, or when he hadn't tortured Poe, or at literally any point before this. On the other hand, dwelling on the past plunges him into one of those moods where the Light seems millions of lightyears away, which he can't afford right now.

To try to turn his thoughts to something less dark, he turns his new lightsaber over in his hands. It's comforting, to know he was able to touch kyber crystals without them turning the deep red they used to in his hands. It's comforting to know that he can create, as well as destroy.

[morally_cryptic]

Anakin looks down at himself and then at the clothes and has the grace to look at least a little abashed. "It hadn't caught up with me yet," he mutters as he pulls the borrowed clothing on.

Then he's frowning speculatively at Ben.

"If it helps, I don't actually know what's going on here either. I'd guess that I'm not here to help you build a new lightsaber..."

He's quite aware that probably doesn't help but despite the power at his fingertips he's not omnipotent and the Force isn't always particularly helpful either.

[greyorder]

Ben tries not to think about it. He's already scarred for life as a child from having seen his father naked once after Han had lost all his clothes in a gambling incident he never fully explained to Ben; to be fair, Ben hadn't asked about it too much.

Leaning against the wall, Ben's too-thin frame becomes more visible. He has been working himself so hard in attempts to reconnect to the Light he's neglected his health, as showcased by the rings under his eyes and the unruly hair, but he straightens up and takes a deep breath when he faces Anakin as if nothing is wrong.

"That is actually the opposite of helpful, but I will assume until we've proven otherwise that the Force has decided to give me aid in my training and continued attempts to return to the Light... though what that means you should be doing right now, I don't know. We'll work it out as we go along."

Man, he hopes he sounds more confident than he feels.

[morally_cryptic]

From Anakin's somewhat amused expression, Ben can take that to mean that he doesn't sound particularly confident. Or maybe it's just because Anakin knows him better than he realizes.

"You're actually taking this rather well. Better than I probably would have in your shoes." He cocks his head to the side thoughtfully, "I'm not sure I want to know how either of my children will react."

Especially since he appears to actually be even younger than Ben.

Anakin shakes that thought off and focuses on Ben once more. If that's the way they're playing this, they might as well get started right away. Though he suspects this isn't going to go how Ben thinks. "What is 'return to the Light' to you? You know, in your own words what does that actually mean?"

Hm.

Maybe he should've suggested they go get something to eat before he jumped into teacher mode. He can worry about that in a minute. This part is important.

[greyorder]

"Being in this family has made it hard to be shocked by anything. If Rey turned out to be a Skywalker, I'd likely have accepted it by dinner." The snark is strong in this one, mostly as a coping mechanism to help deal with the sheer impossibility of what he's seeing.

The question should not be that hard to answer, but Ben can feel any real certainty he had evaporate. There's so much Jedi dogma he could recite from memory, passed down from his Uncle. And that would be good and right and clinical and cold, not a word of it something that rings true in his heart. He looks away, then back to Anakin. "I don't know. Or at the very least, I'm not sure. I know what it is not; it is not the hatred, the chaos, the fury I used to be so filled with I would lash out at the galaxy at random in my anger. I know it is not constantly blaming others and seeking revenge. I think it is the warmth and contentment I find in doing what is right, the sense of rightness in making amends, the desire to become someone who aids and creates rather than destroys.

And if every word of what I just said was wrong I will in no way be surprised."

[morally_cryptic]

"You'd have to ask your mother or uncle about that one," Anakin says with a wry tilt to his mouth. "They're the only children I ever fathered."

Then he shakes his head slightly, "you're headed in the right direction. But I'm going to suggest you try something else: forget about 'Light' and 'Dark' for a while."

Annnnnd he's just going to wait and watch the reaction to that one.

[greyorder]

"Thank the Force for that. We're dramatic enough as it is without adding to our numbers." He's certainly not planning on having any children himself. Ben does not trust himself not to mess up the process of raising another human being. He can't even get his own life on track.

Case in point: he responds to that question by staring at Anakin, really looking at him, as if attempting to find the trick in it, the flaw he can point out to be told he's a good padawan. The idea is so outrageous even his very non-Jedi, non-Sith mind rejects it outright.

"I can't. If I allow my behaviors or training to become lax, I could slip back into my old ways. I owe my family and the galaxy as a whole better than that."

[morally_cryptic]

Anakin laughs and reaches out to clap him on the shoulder.

"I'm going to tell you a story, grandson. But before I start that...apparently the Force gave me a new body without feeding it first. Is there someplace we can eat something?"

Of course, considering that they're on a small resistance base where everyone knows everyone probably Anakin just walking around openly isn't the best of ideas.

[greyorder]

Ben wonders for a moment if his mother got her propensity for touching his shoulder from her father. Then the realization hits that he will have to either try to hide Anakin or tell people what has occurred. Both options are absolutely terrible and involve a lot of work, but for now, he'll just have to stall. Telling people will need to be a careful act, starting with his mother and possibly his uncle.

In the meantime, he cringes, runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "I can get us something from the makeshift mess hall we've got set up, but I would rather not have the entire base descend upon my room just yet. Would you mind staying here while I get something?"

What even is this day.

[morally_cryptic]

He's got a point.

Anakin doesn't really want to deal with the base (or his daughter) yet either.

"That's fine, I'll wait."

Probably he won't snoop while Ben is gone. Mostly because there's not much to snoop into.

"Don't worry, I'm not picky."

[greyorder]

Ben will never cease to be intimidated by his mother. Under all that softness is something sharp he doesn't dare cross, not unless he's out of options.

Anakin could go through the small collection of holo-photos Ben had, most of which were of his family, the rest being comprised various people he had started to come to call friends. None were terribly personal, and there was a definite lack of personal touch to his quarters, as if he hadn't even made a token effort to try to make it homey.

When he goes out to get food, he's too waylaid by other people just getting off shift to sneak two meals back to his room. Then again, the Force only just now gave Anakin a body. He probably needs the nutrition more than Ben, so Ben simply takes enough food to convince everyone he's having a decent dinner for once and makes his way back to his quarters, thankfully quickly all things considered.

"I hope you meant what you said about not being picky. The food here is... well, they're trying their best."

back from Christmas!

[morally_cryptic]

Anakin snorts, "it'll be the first proper meal I've had in about fifty years." He'd had nutrient tubes as Darth Vader. "And I spent the first ten or so years of my life never entirely certain when my next meal would be. I think I'll manage."

That's a thought. How much does Ben really know about his grandfather's history?

Well, they've definitely got a good opportunity for story time.

Same, belatedly!

[greyorder]

Ben cringed at the mental image of not eating for that long. Had he ditched the mess hall in order to avoid talking to people once or twice? Absolutely. He was terrible at confronting his mistakes and general social interaction. But he was also capable of having one of the droids sneak him something.

"I cannot say I know what that's like. Mother always kept me well-fed, though despite her efforts I remain in possession of what Uncle Luke used to call 'porg legs'."

Awkwardly, he leaned against the door, trying to figure out what to even ask a Force Ghost given human form. He settled on, "Is this something they knew the Force could do in your day? Resurrecting the dead, I mean."

:)

[morally_cryptic]

Anakin pauses a moment in the act of raising some food to his mouth to look curiously at Ben's legs. "I'd probably have picked something taller and skinner than a porg..."

Then he smirks up at his grandson and actually takes a bite. Which also gives him ample opportunity to not answer Ben's question right away as his expression goes pensive.

He works his way through a couple more bites before actually answering. "Not like," he waves a hand at himself, "this, no. I don't think so. There were some Jedi who'd managed to learn how to retain their consciousness after death instead of fading back into the Force." A few of which Ben ought to be aware of and of course there's a living example sitting in front of him.

"There was at least one who believed it possible to defeat death through the Force." Anakin smirks again but there's no humor in it this time, "funnily enough, he died."