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Anakin has had plenty of time to come to understand that there are things to the Force he just doesn't understand and will never. It doesn't matter how much power he's held in it, how much of both the Light and the Dark that he's seen, or that he had just spent about thirty years living after death as some sort of energy ghost.

Emphasis on had.

One moment, he was floating the vast span of the Force's energy field, just keeping an eye on the family since actually trying to more directly intervene had proven itself to be an unsuccessful strategy.

The next moment he's lying on the floor, somewhere, groaning and aching.

And naked.

None of these things add up, Anakin thinks as he tries to sit up and take in his surroundings. The only good thing about feeling the heavy weight of his body surrounding him is at least it's not made mostly of metal. That's a plus.

[ooc: continuing from this thread]

Anakin frowns and crouches down by the device, running the fingertips of his recently re-attached prosthetic over it (he didn't bother putting the glove back on).

"I didn't mean actual cracking, Obi-Wan. But...the construction is strange. A lightsaber's overkill but some kind of blowtorch might work."

Padme had tried to dissuade him from this and of course she'd made plenty of good points.

You saw the report too, she was reported dead on Mandalore.

Which was true but then...he's seen the report that went out reporting his death in the Jedi Temple so really, how much stock can he really put into that?

They're hunting Jedi still, Anakin and you know Palpatine is hunting you specifically.

Maybe, but Anakin was determined not to live his life in fear of the old man. Not after all of the lies. Not after what he had done and what Anakin had done for him. Let them catch him, he thought a little recklessly, and when they brought him before Palpatine he'd do what he should have done that night in Palpatine's office.

There'd been other arguments given as she tried to convince him not to go on this hunt for someone who was likely dead with no other evidence that Ahsoka was alive save Anakin's conviction that if she weren't, he would know it...feel it in the Force somehow. The only thing Padme hadn't tried was what might be termed the nuclear option: using their children as motivation for him to not leave them.

She might have won the argument with that, at least for the time being, but he would have been hard pressed to forgive her for it.

And so she let him go after extracting from him a promise to send her frequent updates as to his progress...which was really just a way of saying she wanted to not have to worry whether he was lying dead somewhere or captured and being taken to the Emperor.

Privately, Padme wondered if Anakin's determination to track down Ahsoka had as much to do with attempting to assuage his guilt for what had happened in the Jedi Temple as to assuring himself that she was safe.

For Anakin it took a few weeks of chasing vague feelings from the Force and rumors of a Togruta female seen carrying lightsabers (one of those rumors had led him on completely the wrong track and he'd wasted days only to find a Twi'lek trader with stolen lightsabers...suffice to say that trader was no longer in possession of them). Eventually, his path took him to Takodana and Maz Kanata's castle. This tip was supposedly actually good. It had come from Padme, of all people, and though she hadn't said as much in her message he was pretty certain she'd actually gotten it from Organa.

It feels right, too, he thinks as he lands even if he's not getting any more specific feelings about it. For now he'll take it.

When he enters the castle and finds his way to a table, no one gives him much of a second glance...which is just fine by him. The average person who might have known what Anakin Skywalker looked like would be expecting someone with longer hair, Jedi robes, and a prosthetic arm covered with a heavy glove. This Anakin Skywalker has cut his hair, taken up dressing in well-worn spacer gear, and he'd finally gone the route of having his arm covered in synthflesh so to look at him one would never know he'd lost it in the first place. Also, it appears he's got a blaster on his hip instead of a lightsaber.

Sighing, Anakin orders a drink and settles in to wait. The tip hadn't said when she'd be there, just that it was likely to be "soon".

He really hates waiting.

Solo missions were rare anymore. Even if he and Obi-Wan were split up they usually still had troops with them. But as the war went on, the Jedi and the GAR were spread ever thinner across the galaxy and this had been something that hadn't called for a full detachment. Just one Jedi, in and out.

Anakin had been shocked at how easy things had gone. Missions never went that easy.

Except this one, apparently.

He was even managing to do some honest-to-goodness meditation in the cockpit (because what else was he going to do for the next several hours of nothing to do?). Right up until his ship jolted out of hyperspace and the stars snapped back into focus around him.

Whatever just happened, he found that almost all of the ship's systems had been shorted out including Artoo. All he was left with was basic life support and his sublight engines.

And, it appeared, a planet that appeared habitable.

The problem with having only sublight engines and no repulsorlifts meant landing became a sort of hopefully-controlled skid into the ground instead of a gentle dropping onto landing gear. If Anakin hadn't been sure he was going to need to be outside of the ship to do his repairs (or call for help), he might not have even tried.

In the end, he'd chosen to shoot for a body of water near a city, figuring the landing (such as it was) would be marginally easier on the ship and if there was a city surely he could find holonet access to call back to the Republic for pickup.

Which was a great plan save that some of his ship's exterior plating had gotten loose during his controlled crash and was now letting water in, leaving him sinking rather quickly.

He's forced to leave the ship in the water and struggle to shore, cursing colorfully as he looks back toward his drowned ship (and Artoo!). "Might be able to get it out with the Force," he mutters to himself as he pushes a lock of wet hair out of his eyes, "but that's a lot of metal to move."

But it wasn't like he was just going to leave his droid down there, if nothing else.

True to his word, Anakin brought Leia along on his next mission. The Outer Rim Sieges were aptly named so the trip wasn't exactly a short one, even if military ships tended to have faster hyperdrives than civilian transport. Not to mention they had priority in the spacelanes...but the rules of physics still applied and interstellar space is vast and the planet they're headed for is quite far out on the Rim.

So he had also promised a sparring session, to test her skills. He'd intended for it to happen before they left Coruscant but of course things never work out exactly the way one intends.

While the Resolute was a large ship, she was also full of troops and varying ships and other war materiel. That meant there were few spaces large enough to properly accommodate Jedi lightsaber sparring sessions save one of the hangars. Which all but guaranteed they'd end up with an audience but there wasn't much that could be done about that.

"You still up for this?"

They're in the middle of a war. He spends a lot (a lot) of time on the front lines of battle. He rather expects to be defying death on a daily basis, it's all a part of the job description. Hell, even if there wasn't a war on and there was no title of 'general' attached to his name it was still somewhere in the Jedi job description. But mostly it's droids trying to kill him. Sure, there's the rare pirate or Sith or gundark but mostly? Droids.

At first, the idea that someone out there was specifically targeting him hadn't quite pierced his awareness. A few stray blaster bolts or even thermal detonator on a battlefield doesn't make much of a dent even when they get almost too close. Lost among the noise. But first there was the dead body no one could account for. Whoever it was was definitely not a part of the Republic forces and didn't seem to belong to the Seps either but someone had certainly made sure to very professionally put a clean shot through their skull. Even that might not have seemed too strange if the dead man hadn't been carrying a holoimage of Anakin and no other identifying information.

The next time it's noticed is when one of the clones doesn't quite seem to fit in place. He's caught before he gets much more than a chance to lay eyes on Skywalker since the other clones in his squadron can tell even despite the armor that he doesn't fit in. Stupid, Anakin thinks, for the inflitrator to really believe the clones, or Anakin himself for that matter, can't tell one from the other whether they're wearing armor or not. The man was just lucky he hadn't actually killed the clone whose armor he stole or they wouldn't have merely imprisoned him for interrogation. Unfortunately, he managed to die before the interrogation actually happened. While Anakin doesn't lose too much sleep over the man's death, the fact that it happened with no explanation while the man was in his custody was an entirely different matter.

Once is just something unusual. Two is a coincidence. But the third time happens when he's flying his starfighter back to the Resolute after a successful engagement and a ship that doesn't quite match any model he's ever seen comes out of nowhere to attack him. The last time something like that had happened, it had been Ventress but this pilot was no Dark acolyte much less a Force-user. Competent behind the stick, maybe, but certainly not good enough to give him a real challenge. The resulting fireball when he shoots his opponent down comes as a surprise, though, as he'd been fairly certain he'd made a surgical strike in piercing the cockpit. He'd wanted, at least, to be able to study the ship and whatever data it carried but instead all he's left with is a floating mess of shrapnel. All he could conclude was that they'd been flying with a kill switch enabled.

Three times is most definitely a pattern, and one strong enough that he's called back before the Council to explain the pattern of events. Even the Chancellor, he's told, has taken an interest. But all Anakin hears is that he's to be confined to the capital until further notice. As if he can't look after himself.

"It's not like they don't need every good general they can get out there," he fumes later to Padme, "it's not like I'm not risking my life every single day. I suppose I should just be happy they didn't order me to stay within the Temple too like some youngling..." Needless to say, it wasn't one of their more pleasant visits and of course he'll regret not making the most of the time he had with her later.

He's right, though, they can't in good conscience force him to stay on Coruscant with the war going as it is. And in some ways he's no safer there than anywhere else. That thought is driven home when the next attack takes place on the very steps of the Temple itself and once again the attacker dies before he can be made to talk. Or in this case, before he's even taken into custody. For a brief moment, Anakin remembers that night he and Obi-Wan had chased the bounty hunter who'd tried to assassinate Padme and how the Changeling had died just as she'd been about to tell them who'd hired her. It's with that thought still echoing in his mind that he catches a glimpse of the failed assassin's assassin. Mandalorian armor? While Jango Fett hadn't been the only one with claim to such a style (and certainly the clones' armor was patterned off it in many ways), it was unusual enough to be interesting. Especially since Fett was dead and Death Watch more or less dealt with.

Whoever the mystery Mandalorian is, he's got too much of a head start for Anakin to catch up with him but the next time someone tries to kill him --this was just getting ridiculous now-- Anakin focuses less on his own attacker and more on his mystery...benefactor? Either that or the one who's paying all of these people to murder him and then ensuring they're dead before they can talk. Whichever. So about the same time the latest attacker is falling to the Mandalorian's aim, Anakin is throwing a push of Force energy at him. With any luck, he'll be stunned and ~~Anakin can beat the information out of him~~ they can have a little chat.

[ooc: That got slightly longer than intended but I hope it works! I figure for that second one while random dude from the future can't fit in among clones in clone armor well...Fett's a clone, if a unique one, if anyone's going to infiltrate them that way it'd be him. So I could totally see one of the attacker's guards being Boba in a borrowed set of armor with no one the wiser]

[ooc: from here]

Maybe it was showing off a bit, but Anakin had totally done a completely gratuitous fly-over of the Resolute when they arrived so Theon could appreciate the capital ship's majesty. And of course, once they settled in the hangar bay, he'd see there were even more ships carried inside. Starfighters, troop transports, etc.

Luckily, Obi-Wan wasn't there yet so Anakin hadn't had to explain to him what was up. The troopers more or less accepted he's a contact of the general's, no need to ask for details and Yularen? Well, Anakin gave the admiral more or less the same explanation except with Jedi business tacked on the end of it.

Eventually, of course, he'll have to provide something better when the Council comes calling but for the time being, it's easy enough to find quarters to put Theon up in. No need to mention the small room had last been used by Anakin's former padawan.

What Anakin hadn't expected was that, instead of being called to another battle, they were being recalled to Coruscant. Not because of Theon's presence, but instead something about an experimental weapons prototype. Why it was on Coruscant, Anakin wondered, instead of say...one of the industrial shipyards out there was a mystery presumably known only to the Chancellor.

Still, it does lead him to find Theon and remark, "I know you've mostly only seen the inside of a ship and a bunch of clones up until now but we'll be getting a change of scenery soon."

Posted on tumblr, just putting a note here for posterity.

Current Mood: accomplished

Ringo Vinda and what had happened with Tup and Master Tiplar had been bad enough. Having to take a side-trip to the Chancellor's office to tell Palpatine what had happened--the Chancellor had insisted and since it had been his suggestion for the mission, Anakin hadn't been in any position to refuse--had been even worse. It was still difficult, when in the Chancellor's presence, to reconcile the man before him with the Sith lord Luke and Leia knew.

It was easier to see himself as Vader than to see Palpatine as this Emperor. Perhaps because Anakin was self-aware enough to know how closely he'd treaded to line in the past, perhaps simply because he'd seen the masked figure himself through Leia's memory she'd offered him. Or maybe just because he'd dreamed of the future he still devoutly hoped would never happen.

And then came the news that Master Shaak Ti had brought Fives back to Coruscant, bound and restrained, with an apparently wild tale he insisted he tell the Chancellor. Only it seemed he'd tried to assassinate Palpatine instead and taken off, disappearing into the streets of Coruscant. The belief was that he had snapped the same way Tup had and troopers had been dispatched to locate him.

Anakin planned on getting there first.

Normally, he would have brought Rex along since Fives would be more likely to trust his Captain than any other clone but someone had ordered that the 501st stay put until all of them were inoculated for the supposed virus that had affected Tup and Fives.

So, strangely enough, it's down to the hangar where the Twilight sits that Anakin goes. He doesn't actually pause for pleasantries, "you want something to do? I've got a job. And we need to go now."

The only time Anakin can ever remember being quite this nervous while waiting outside of the Chancellor’s office was early on in their relationship when he was barely more than a boy, still a Padawan who was only just beginning to understand what that meant and in awe that the most powerful man in the galaxy wanted to talk to him. He still can’t quite believe it and now he’s a man grown, a Jedi Knight, and arguably one of the Order’s greatest heroes at this point of the war. Palpatine was, of course, still the most powerful man in the galaxy, but Anakin was now coming to understand he held even more power than most people could possibly suspect.

Palpatine was the Sith Lord, if what Leia and Luke had told him was true.

Maybe it was a mistake. Maybe it wasn’t this Palpatine, maybe the Sith Lord had taken his name when he’d taken control of...everything. Maybe everything he’d believed about the man who’d been a mentor to him for the past decade and more wasn’t a lie.

Maybe.

Forcibly, Anakin pushed such thoughts from his mind. They wouldn’t be helpful here and now. He couldn’t let Palpatine sense the conflict within him. Couldn’t let him see any hint of Luke or Leia’s connection to him, or the future they had revealed. Resolute in this, and perhaps bolstered by the same lessons he’d been giving Leia on shielding, Anakin locked down on the turmoil twisting inside of him, on his suspicion of the Chancellor’s motives, on his bond with the twins, on half-remembered flashes of a black mask backlit in crimson light. Letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding, Anakin looked up as the door to Palpatine’s office opened and he was ushered in.

Palpatine smiled in greeting as Anakin entered and try as he might, he couldn’t see anything other than genuine pleasure at the sight of an old friend in Palpatine’s expression. Could he really be that good of an actor? Then again, he’d have to be if he were going to convince everyone that he was nothing more than the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic and subject to the whims of the Senate. And if people like Bail Organa, who Anakin respected despite his being a politician, and even Padme, who Anakin worshipped, hadn’t suspected anything more sinister than a man who might or might not have been willing to give up the emergency powers granted him by the Senate, well...they worked with him day in and day out; they were sensible, rational people. Wouldn’t they have seen something?

Wouldn’t he? Shouldn’t he?

“Anakin,” Palpatine spoke, shaking him out of his circular thoughts, “it’s good to see you, my boy. It’s been quite some time, I do hope the Council hasn’t been sending you on too many...errands.”

He shook his head ruefully, “I think it’s more like they haven’t been sending me on enough.” Which was true but why was it so easy to express his dissatisfaction to this man?

“Oh, Anakin,” the Chancellor responded, a certain amount of disappointed regret in his voice, “you should have come to me. I’d have been happy to help.”

That tone likely had its intended effect as Anakin felt obscurely guilty about disappointing his friend...or the man who was supposed to be his friend. “I’m sorry...I just thought you might be a little busy...looking after things here.”

Palpatine pressed a hand to Anakin’s arm with a fatherly smile, “I am never too busy to help a friend. And I think now we might be able to help each other…”

It wasn’t that Anakin considered it escaping from the Chancellor’s office when he finally left but. Well...it was a little like escaping.

There had been nothing, nothing to suggest that the man was anything more than what he seemed to be. That he wanted anything more than to do his duty as Chancellor and preserve the Republic against the Separatists. Then again, how could he have his future Empire if he allowed the Republic to be splintered by the war?

The war. If Count Dooku really was his apprentice, then obviously they must have some plan for how it would end. And the Jedi have become mired in it. But they’d been given no choice. To refuse to fight would have made them out to be traitors but now they were dying on the front line, spread thin across the galaxy…

Dimly, Anakin started to see a hint of the shape of the Sith Lord’s plan. Not that it mattered, not right now. They were still in the middle of a war they couldn’t win and people were still dying.

And the Chancellor had asked him, personally, to deal with an imminent Separatist attack on Ringo Vinda.

“But why bring this to me? Shouldn’t this go to the Council?” he’d asked.

Palpatine had let out a soft sigh, “Anakin, you know I could have nothing but respect for your Masters but I suspect they would not appreciate feeling tasked by my office nor would they trust my intelligence personnel. Valuable time might be wasted. But if you came to them, surely they might see reason.”

It made sense. The Council had been growing steadily more disapproving of the office of the Chancellor meddling in what they saw as Jedi affairs. Except wasn’t this more of a Republic affair? If the Chancellor had been anyone other than Palpatine, would they have reacted similarly?

And that, right there, was the problem. Everything he said made sense. It all sounded right.

Shaking his head, Anakin strode back into the Temple. In a way, it didn’t matter...at least not for now. There was still a planet in trouble and a battle to be fought and Anakin had a mission to do.

Assuming the Council agreed.

Current Mood: conflicted all the way

[ooc: takes place in the same future!AU as this thread with

fulcra.]

He'd been here on Lothal far longer than he'd been hoping. Certainly far longer than the battle he'd been supposed to get here for would have taken. Had taken. He tries not to think about how the verb tenses should work too much.

They'd done their best to recreate the original conditions that had brought Anakin here in the first place, though making sure to avoid the Imperials as he flew out and back in several times on the same hyperspace route had been interesting. And completely fruitless. Well almost recreated. Sabine had provided his starfighter with a new paint job to disguise it and make it look at least a little less noticeable. Though she'd made sure to tell him that her usual method involved far more color than what he'd ended up with. He'd told her if this worked, he'd remember to track her down in fifteen years and let her paint the thing anything she pleased.

It didn't work and none of them had any explanation why.

He'd been halfway through suggesting they could check the Temple Archives before he saw Ahsoka's expression shutter. Of course they couldn't check the Temple Archives. They couldn't even get near Coruscant. Or-- Imperial Center. They called it Imperial Center now.

So he was stuck here and more or less also stuck being expected to stay out of the way. Not that they said as much but he was still essentially an outsider to their little close-knit group and most of the time Ahsoka looked like she had no idea what to say to him.

Then again, he still wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to her. This was not the way he'd envisioned them meeting again, after all.

And apparently until they can figure out a way to make him look a little less like himself--apparently in this case being a former hero of the Republic is a bad thing--he can't even move around too much lest someone get too curious.

Everyone knows that enforced idleness does wonders for Anakin's temper.

He's not in Jedi robes, his lightsaber is hidden, he's wearing long sleeves and gloves on both hands to disguise the fact that only one of them is mechanical, and he even let them cut his hair ~~though he hadn't taken up Sabine on her offer to dye it~~! How much less like himself could he look without surgery?

Surgery is a definite no-go. But taking a speeder bike in to the city is apparently on the agenda. If nothing else, he wants to get a better look at exactly what they're up against and it's not like he hasn't been undercover before...

Current Mood: aggravated

[ooc: this is set shortly after Episode II, when Anakin has been released from the healers' ward with his brand new ~~roboclaw~~ prosthetic arm.]

Up until this moment, Anakin hadn't had a moment entirely to himself since...well, since before they'd gone to Geonosis. Oh, he'd been given some space in the healers' ward, but it was never truly private and there was always someone checking on him. And there'd been all the tests to ensure his new arm functioned properly. And Obi-Wan had hovered, a little, though he had tried to be discreet about it.

Now finally in their shared quarters--he wouldn't have a space of his own until he passed his trials--Anakin was left to his own devices. Obi-Wan had, he assumed, sensed Anakin's desire to be left alone for a while and had gone on some errand or other, possibly contrived. It didn't really matter, Anakin was just grateful for his Master's perceptiveness in this case.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, he had pulled up his right sleeve to reveal the shiny, gold-tinted, mechanical prosthesis that connected to his arm just below the elbow. Staring intently, he flexed the fingers back and forth, wiggled them around, flexed his wrist, listened to the mechanics inside whirr and click as he did so. Already his mouth was turned down into something very like a grimace. The medical staff had suggested he could have it covered in synthflesh, if he wanted, to make it look more real. He'd turned them down. No, he wanted to remember what he'd lost, he wanted to remind himself of how he'd failed. He wouldn't make the same mistake again.

And there wasn't anything wrong with the arm, per se. It was perfectly functional, just as it had been designed, even though it reminded him more of a protocol droid's limb than something a human should have attached to them. But it was a bit clumsy, the grip wasn't right for his lightsaber, he'd probably have to wear a glove. And that was a whole other problem in and of itself. While the arm did receive signals through his nervous system and there were some sensors built in to provide tactile sensory input it just felt...dull. He'd almost thought he'd have rather had no arm at all than this when he'd first tested it.

The thing was going to need some work, he decided. Better sensors, faster relay from the nerve inputs, quieter mechanics so there was less noise.

Really, he would have expected better out of the Jedi. They had some of the best medical facilities in the galaxy and he'd been given...this. His opinion on the matter hadn't exactly been consulted, either.

For a moment, he entertains the thought that it had been done purposefully, to slow him down and hold him back but he shakes his head to push the thought away.

It didn't matter what the reasoning was, all that mattered was it wasn't good enough. If he was going to be better, it would have to be better. And if the Jedi couldn't give him that, he'd do it on his own.

Current Mood: uncomfortable

[ooc: Just prompted by a little mental image of Anakin "stargazing" that popped to mind earlier.]

On Coruscant, it was impossible to see the stars, even if one was looking out from the Council room at the top of the Jedi Temple. An unfortunate side effect of so much light from so many buildings and various forms of transport speeding around the airways. Not to mention that there was simply so much starship traffic, one likely wouldn't be able to tell the lights of ships from the field of stars behind them anyway.

Anakin had discovered this unfortunate fact not long after he came to live at the Jedi temple. He'd thought that, surely, so close to the center of the galaxy, the sky would be full of stars to see that he'd never been able to see before on Tatooine. Instead it turned out that perhaps the only thing that was better about Tatooine than Coruscant was that the desert planet was so sparsely inhabited and that the skies were so clear. Even out on the Rim, the sky was full of stars and the spiral arm of the galaxy could be clearly seen arcing across it.

He didn't try to watch the night sky on Coruscant anymore, but he still kept up the habit of at least looking for a moment whenever he found himself on a new planet. At the center of the Republic, however, he has to content himself with substitutes.

Which is why he can be found in an empty classroom surrounded by a holographic rendering of the galaxy. He's been spending all afternoon, so far, carefully marking off different star systems in various designated colors. Technically the entire exercise could be done by a computer but that wasn't Anakin's purpose in doing it. It requires concentration, but it doesn't require him to spend much effort in actually thinking so the whole activity is almost meditative.

The first batch of colored systems is simple: yellow for those that Anakin has already been to. Naboo might possibly be a subtly brighter yellow than all the rest, as if he'd lingered on that one for a moment longer than the others. He'd once told Qui-Gon he was going to see them all and certainly he had a better start on most other inhabitants of the galaxy, but it was still extraordinarily minute compared to the sheer number of systems represented on the map.

The second batch are green, signifying systems where battles of the Clone War have been fought and the Republic retained (or gained) control. Another group are blue, for the Separatist-won battles.

And finally, there's a sprinkling of red dots across the galaxy, mostly concentrated Rimward, and these are for those systems where battles are currently raging. Places he should be where he could be doing some good and making a difference. Staring at those flashes of red, it was almost enough to have him just commandeering a starfighter and heading out somewhere...anywhere. After making sure orders somehow just happened to make it through the system so that Rex and the 501st would be meeting him, of course.

But it wasn't, quite, enough. Contrary to some people's beliefs, he did have enough self-awareness to recognize that any action along those lines would likely not end well. That didn't mean he didn't still feel the temptation and it's that thought that has him swiping a hand through the starfield and systematically clearing everything out again until only dots of yellow remain on the map. He stares at those longest before they're wiped clean as well.

Current Mood: discontent

Six Impossible Things :: my thread

one

Ani lies on the still-warm sand even as a cool evening breeze chills his skin. He doesn't notice either, his attention on the sky above him. Quietly, under his breath, he's counting. ....three-hundred and twenty, three hundred and twenty-one, three-hundred and twenty-two... Behind every number is a dozen or more. Planets for each star. He imagines what life must be like Out There.

Much more exciting than here.

He bet there were even planets where they'd never heard of slavery. Or sand. Planets that were covered in water or in snow or green plants as far as the eye could see. He'd heard that Coruscant was all city. What he wouldn't give to see that...

He'd see 'em all.

two

His mother was crying.

She thought he was asleep, that he couldn't hear her. This life was hard on her, he knew, even as young as he was. She deserved better. A real life. A free one.

He'd give it to her.

Some day.

three

Not long after he had arrived at the Jedi Temple to live Anakin had found himself a fairly secluded little alcove that looked out on the Coruscant skyline. Well, he was here. It wasn't Tatooine.

But there was an enormous ache in his chest.

Just once, he'd like to feel the heat of the sand under his feet, see his mother's smile, even hear Watto complaining.

He was alone.

four

Siri was nice enough, he liked her.

But her padawan...

Every time he saw Ferus, Anakin imagined wiping that know-it-all smirk from his face.

five

He should have been paying attention to Obi-Wan.

But his attention kept being caught by a nearby news-vid. Currently, they were talking about the latest round of Senatorial elections and the newest senator from Naboo.

Their former queen.

The thought was a small one, quiet, in the back of his mind. He didn't dare voice it aloud. Or even silently. In a dream you loved me.

six

She was beautiful in white.

And when she took his hand, he knew he'd never felt happier.

But something was missing.

Someone. Two someones who should have been there too, instead of the droids.

But this was forbidden. He couldn't have told Obi-Wan. Can't tell him. Ever.

And he'd watched his mother die. He could only hope something of her spirit could see this.

seven

One last wish was all he had left as he looked up into blue eyes. Blue eyes like a mirror. Like his own.

His son, his own son had saved him.

One last wish, fulfilled.

This journal is more or less discontinued until further notice. :) - the management

He'd had it, once, as a child. As an adolescent. As a young man. It was shaken, sometimes, but always there, deeply grounded. How could he not? He'd held tightly to it as a boy and all wrapped up inside of hero worship. He'd had it even before he'd seen a Jedi and it had been only stronger afterward.

Becoming a Jedi, it was still there, all the stronger because now he knew. Or thought he did. But something began to happen, as he got older. Doubts appeared, cracks in the foundation, eroding the base.

He started to question the things he'd always been taught, had always known when his experience began to suggest otherwise. How could one thing be said and yet another thing be what was actually done? How could they be the same heroes he had worshipped as a child.

How? Why? When had it changed?

Had it changed?

What if it had always been that way and only now he was seeing clearly?

Disillusionment.

And somewhere between the death of a Jedi Master and the rise of a new Sith Lord...Anakin Skywalker's faith in the Jedi Order fled completely and was lost in the darkness.

====
Muse: Anakin Skywalker
Fandom: Star Wars
Wordcount: 193

Ani awoke feeling more rested than she had in months. She stretched lazily and ran her hands through her short-cropped hair. They'd been recalled to Coruscant for a time which explained the restfulness of her sleep. She'd finally been able to sleep in a bed which was no small feat.

It did, of course, help that she had shared the bed with her love and for that she gave her still-sleeping partner a fond smile. She'd have to hurry, though, or they'd miss her back at the Temple and that-...

...probably wouldn't go well. As she knew. Still, she had time to take advantage of the apartment's top-notch bathing facilities and certainly no one would begrudge her a few minutes of luxuriating under the hot water. There was something to be said for being a heroine of the Republic. Though it'd be nice if they just said "hero" like they called Master Obi-Wan, she thought with a bit of a pout. She'd done every bit as much as Obi-Wan in this war. More, if one counted that she'd done it all while keeping her own secret. Once more, she smiled fondly in the direction of the sleeping form stretched out on the, no their bed.

For a few moments, as she dressed, Ani let herself wonder what sort of children they might have. Even if it was clearly impossible. For more than one reason. But then again, medical science was ableo to do all sorts of things...

...but she rather imagined Padme would prefer something more natural. Which wouldn't really happen without a male involved and at that thought Ani had to push down the surge of jealousy that rose within her. No, they were better off just not bringing up the subject of children, really. It couldn't end well. Even if Padme would make a wonderful mother.

"Anakin."

Why was Obi-Wan calling her that?

"Anakin." and shaking her to boot?

"I'm coming, jus' a minute," she grumbled...in a voice a lot lower than she remembered possessing. Wait, she? What?

Finally, Anakin pulled himself fully into wakefulness, eyes snapping open to see a concerned Obi-Wan standing over him. "There you are, padawan. We were getting worried." Which, really, belied the point a little though Obi-Wan wouldn't tell Anakin that just now.

Anakin frowned and tried to sit up in his med-bay bed. Except he couldn't get up and there were all sorts of things stuck in him and things beeping. "What happened?"

Obi-Wan shook his head ruefully, "you got a lung-ful of some new chemical the Separatists have been testing. I'm afraid you've been rather delusional for the past few days."

Groaning, Anakin relaxed back into the bed, "I don't want to know, do I?"

His Master's lips twitched with repressed amusement, "well, you apparently make a very lovely young woman...."

[I was originally going to actually turn Anakin into a woman but...the crack isn't that strong with me today so we'll have to settle for hallucinations. :)]

Prompt: Pie
Character: Anakin and Obi-Wan
Fandom: Star Wars
Word count: 597
Rating: G
Disclaimer Not mine. Anakin/Jedi/Star Wars/etc belongs to Lucasfilms and George Lucas. I'm just borrowing for a time and for entertainment. No money is made off of this fic. Thank you!

The only sound filling the room was the contented snoring of a Jedi youngster lying sprawled over Obi-Wan's bed with one leg hanging off and a few telltale crumbs, crumbs sprinkling his sheets. The other telltale sign was an empty plate scraped clean of whatever confectionary goodness had been resting on it that morning.

That, and the bit of whipped cream caught on the end of Anakin's padawan braid.

Obi-Wan merely watched this strange tableau for several moments, his hands on his hips, before sighing to himself. Perhaps he should have known better than to leave Anakin alone with it but certainly his padawan should be able to exercise some restraint by now at the age of fifteen! Then again, this was Anakin he was talking about, Obi-Wan reminded himself with a mixture of exasperation and fondness.

The youth moved a little in his sleep, and perhaps through some gratuitous use of the Force by his mentor, ended up tumbling to the floor in what made for a rather rude -- if funny to someone watching -- awakening. Anakin yelped and sat up, looking up at Obi-Wan rather accusingly through the sleep in his eyes. "What was that for?"

"Anakin," Obi-Wan began, his hands now tucked into the sleeves of his robe as he used his patient-but-slightly-exasperated-teacher tone, "what were you supposed to be doing while I was meeting with Master Windu?"

Obi-Wan was fairly certain that Anakin used the opportunity of having to pick himself up and dust himself off to duck his head and make a face. "Put away my tools and droid parts."

Pointedly, Obi-Wan glanced in the direction of Anakin's corner of the room where tools and little mechanical bits littered the floor, and a few of the larger parts were pushed to the side of Anakin's bed against the wall making enough room for his apprentice to sleep though Obi-Wan could hardly imagine how it was comfortable for the boy. Then, he looked back down at his recalcitrant padawan, prompting with an, "...and?"

A little uneasily, Anakin shifted his weight. He'd been working on it like Obi-Wan had asked him to! He'd gotten everything sorted, anyway, into piles by type of part when he'd found himself continually looking toward the two slices of multi-berry pie with cream Obi-Wan had left sitting on the counter of their little cooking-area with the promise that it'd be a treat after the midday meal after Obi-Wan returned from his meeting with Master Windu.

For what seemed like ages, Anakin resisted. But eventually he'd gone and just stuck his finger in one of the slices, just enough for a taste. That had been enough for a little longer. But then he couldn't stop thinking about the sweet taste of the pie and breakfast had seemed like an eternity ago and surely Obi-Wan wouldn't mind if Anakin just had a little bite from one of the pieces?

Somehow a little bite had turned to Anakin gorging himself on both pieces and then, tidying duty completely forgotten, he'd sprawled onto Obi-Wan's bed to 'just rest a minute'. He couldn't, after all, sprawl on his own bed, not with the droid parts on it.

But looking up at his master, Anakin didn't think that explanation would go over very well. And he didn't really have an excuse and he wasn't sure what to say and just having woken up wasn't really the best time for one to think of how to explain oneself and all that came out was a plaintive, "but I was hungry!"

Obi-Wan, at least, had the grace to only laugh about it once he was alone.

Prompt: Pleasure
Character: Anakin and Padme
Warnings: Idyllic times ahead?
Pairings: Anakin/Padme
Fandom: Star Wars
Word count: 204
Rating: G
Disclaimer Not mine. Anakin/Jedi/Star Wars/etc belongs to Lucasfilms and George Lucas. I'm just borrowing for a time and for entertainment. No money is made off of this fic. Thank you!

There was definitely something to be said for Naboo. Particularly this area in the lake country away from the capital of Theed. Particularly when the only other living creatures for miles around them seemed to be those funny animals -- Padme called them shaaks -- grazing on the abundant grass surrounding them. Just as Anakin almost always marveled at a great expanse of water, the same could be said for so much green. There was something inherent within him which even now couldn't believe there could be so much of it in one place, that expected sweeping vistas of brown and tan and bleach white with stark contrasts. Not this lush paradise he'd found himself in.

Of course, he was also certain he found the colors and scents and sounds enveloping them all the more vibrant because she was there with him. And for once, they were alone and he could be not just Ani, that little boy she once knew; not Anakin Skywalker, Jedi protector; nothing but Anakin ~~who loved her~~. And she could be not Amidala, former queen of Naboo; nor Padme Amidala, now-Senator from Naboo; but maybe, just maybe she'd let herself just be Padme. Just be with him.

Just be together.

Current Mood: happy

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Anakin Skywalker

December 2017

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Negotiations with a Lightsaber

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