Anakin is afraid.
He is afraid that one day he will be sent out on a mission only to return to find that the woman he loves is gone forever. That something might happen to her and he won't be there to save her. That she may find being without him for so long just too hard and ... find someone else. He is afraid to lose her and that fear gnaws away at him deep in the pit of his belly. he's seen her lying in pain in an alien place, dying and screaming his name
He is afraid that one day on a mission he'll be too slow, or too late, or too cocky, or just.plain.wrong and it will be Obi-Wan who pays the price. That he will lose his fatherbestfriendbrothermasterteacherfamily in the blink of an eye because he wasn't good enough. He is afraid that Obi-Wan will find out just how unworthy of his love and time and concern and friendship Anakin is and that Obi-Wan will turn away from him. flashes of memories of dreams of black sand and fire and pain
He is afraid of himself and the darkness he knows he holds inside himself. all things die, even stars burn out
He is afraid of his fear, and that makes him angry.
The fear fuels the anger and the anger fuels the fear and slowly they both grow and eat away at him, burning and freezing and leaving a deep, black, rotted hole where once there was a person.
He can feel it happening.
Hewants it fears it needs it hates it is falling into it.
He is afraid that one day he will be sent out on a mission only to return to find that the woman he loves is gone forever. That something might happen to her and he won't be there to save her. That she may find being without him for so long just too hard and ... find someone else. He is afraid to lose her and that fear gnaws away at him deep in the pit of his belly. he's seen her lying in pain in an alien place, dying and screaming his name
He is afraid that one day on a mission he'll be too slow, or too late, or too cocky, or just.plain.wrong and it will be Obi-Wan who pays the price. That he will lose his fatherbestfriendbrothermasterteacherfamily in the blink of an eye because he wasn't good enough. He is afraid that Obi-Wan will find out just how unworthy of his love and time and concern and friendship Anakin is and that Obi-Wan will turn away from him. flashes of memories of dreams of black sand and fire and pain
He is afraid of himself and the darkness he knows he holds inside himself. all things die, even stars burn out
He is afraid of his fear, and that makes him angry.
The fear fuels the anger and the anger fuels the fear and slowly they both grow and eat away at him, burning and freezing and leaving a deep, black, rotted hole where once there was a person.
He can feel it happening.
He