Negotiations with a Lightsaber

There may be snow on the roof, but there's fire in the belly...

Anakin stared out the viewport at the pure white landscape that lay before him. Him and a few hundred clone troopers scattered around the camp. And support staff. And Obi-Wan.

In a way, he almost could imagine it was sand, for the suns of Tatooine had often burned bright enough that its deserts shone white beneath them at the height of midday. But here, no, it's much too cold. The skies were too cloudy, small white flakes drifting down from them occasionally to join their brethren blanketing the ground. And besides all that, here, the ground wasn't barren. On Tatooine, practically nothing grew. And here, yes, there was nothing growing. But he knew, just under the snow, sleeping the earth, all sorts of things were just waiting for warmth and spring to awaken them. He could feel that anticipation, that sense of waiting, add on to the anticipation he already bore.

Just over the horizon lay a Separatist camp. The fields before them soon enough would not remain blanketed with undisturbed snowflakes. Soon enough, he and Obi-Wan would be leading their troopers across those fields to meet the enemy, to fight.

Something within him warmed at that thought, even as he knew it shouldn't. He never had learned well the lesson that a Jedi should not wish for adventure and glory. Of course, by this point, he figured if he hadn't learned it, he wasn't going to and continued right on wishing.

It didn't help he so often got what he wished for. And it was this thought that brought a grin to his lips as he turned away from the viewport and went to sit beside Obi-Wan so they could go over the battle plan.

And still, the snow fell.

-----
Character: Anakin Skywalker
Fandom: Star Wars
Wordcount: 287

this takes place just before a made-up battle that he and Obi-Wan participated in during the Clone War

Prompt: Rebellion
Character: Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader
Your character's fandom: Star Wars
Word count: 272
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own. I will never own. Purely for entertainment. Star Wars and Anakin and all that fun stuff all belong to George Lucas.

( He hadn't cared... )

Claim an Anakin and suggest a pairing if you wish and you will get a short ficlety thing of joy. As an Anakin is claimed he will be crossed off the list.

Vaderkin!Anakin
PerfectJedi!Anakin - Irony with Luke for countofserenno
Racing!Anakin
Sulky!Anakin
Submissive!Anakin - The Senator Bride - with Padme for lazypadawan
Dominant!Anakin
Daddy!Anakin - Dreaming in Darkness - for sen_amidala
TimeTraveling!Anakin - Vision of the Future - for darkjedianakin
Domestic!Anakin - Putting Those Home Ec Classes to Good Use - for age
Bouncy!Anakin - Impatience for g_shadowslayer
Chocolate!Anakin - Boys will be Boys for lt_wes_janson
SittingStillForOnce!Anakin - Child's Play for lady_karasu_24
CuteAndSleepy!Anakin - Sleepytime - with Draco for badlieutenant
Confused!Anakin
[InsertTypeOfAnakinHere!Anakin]
Bisexual!Anakin - Boy Gets Around - with Padme and Obi-Wan for rabidfangurl

Home wasn't the Temple though, not anymore, not really, and he only spent as much time there as it took for the sun to go down and to make sure he could leave when no one would notice and be suspicious.

And then, he's soon hopping on his swoop and speeding his way through the sky lanes of Coruscant to a certain high-rise building populated by Senators....

And then to one apartment in particular, that is where his home is.

Padme.

His greatest failure as a Jedi was not one single failure, not one single instance.

It was, instead, a failure spread out over a lifetime, the failure of pride. It was little things that led to greater things, and snowballed into monstrous things until he found himself leading an army into the Temple.

Until he found himself destroying his own home.

Until he found himself fighting to destroy his closes friend, his family.

His greatest failure as a Jedi led him to perhaps his greatest triumph as a Sith: the extermination of the Jedi Order.

But things always turn full circle, the pendulum always swings back to where it was, once and he must eventually have a greatest failure as a Sith, they all do. His greatest failure as a Sith was not pride, for pride among Sith was more a virtue than not. No, his greatest failure as a Sith was, of course, his greatest triumph as a Jedi: love.

It was the love of a son for his father that pulled him out of the Dark and back into the Light. It was the love of a father for his son that allowed him to end his failure as a Jedi and do something he should perhaps once have done long before then.

It was love that allowed him to truly live once more. And then die, finally, in peace.

It's a question on some Coruscanti advertisement for something that catches his eye. What have you sacrificed for love? He smirks, a little ruefully, because of course, in his case, he's sacrificed everything every time it was asked of him.

Hasn't he?

Something, then, makes him uneasy, almost as if he can hear mocking laughter somewhere at that thought. As if he hadn't really ever sacrificed anything for love. But of course he has!

A simple question that should have disappeared from his mind almost as soon as it entered stays with him all the rest of the day and late into the night. He can't fall asleep because the question runs over and over through his mind and he can't come up with a suitable answer for it. Meditation doesn't work, for he can't just let this one go. It nags him and nags him and nags him.

What has he sacrificed for love?

Well, one might say his innocence, among the Tuskens, when his mother-...but no, if he were being truly honest with himself, and he feels he must be to get his mind to quieten, that was done hardly out of love for Shmi and more out of his own pain.

But what about his life, just so he could be with Padm-...no he hasn't sacrificed that, instead, he's trying desperately to hold on to everything he wanted. True sacrifice would have been for him to leave the Order.

Of course, then he could say that he is sacrificing a happy life with Padme for his love of Obi-Wan the Order. However, the same argument as before holds.

He sacrificed his arm in the fight with Dooku but...that wasn't for love, that was because of his own arrogance. And it was hardly a sacrifice when medical technology could replace it, was it? Even if he didn't feel entirely...whole...anymore.

Over and over and over he tries to think of something that would make sense, would fit, and yet he can come up with nothing.

Time and again he has had the opportunity for sacrifice and yet...he has not done so, instead, he has done his damnedest to hold on tightly to all that he has for as long as possible.

He ends up watching the sun rise over the skyline of Coruscant just as he is facing this very bleak truth about himself. Jedi are supposed to be selfless, always sacrificing for others. And yet he....he has to admit it, has been nothing but selfish. What does this mean for him? How can he possibly call himself Jedi?

What will he do?

Unfortunately, it is another day, he has duties to fulfill and he will not neglect them, even if he'd much rather avoid them at this point. He will not make himself that much more selfish. Luckily, one of his first duties of the day is to meet with the Chancellor. Perhaps Palpatine will have some advice for him...

And it is with this mind that Anakin dresses and prepares for the day and is soon enough waiting outside of his friend and mentor's office. Soon enough, he is allowed to enter and Palpatine stands and smiles upon seeing the Jedi Padawan. "Ah, Anakin, good, you're early. I really ought to just tell them to allow you entry whenever you arrive. We are friends, are we not?"

Anakin smiles, bowing his head a moment in a gesture of respect, "Good morning, sir. And that would be a great honor."

The Chancellor tuts softly, "No need for formalities, my friend. And-..." he seems to take in the dark circles under Anakin's eyes and his general discontent demeanor, even if the padawan were trying valiantly to hide it, "...and what is the matter?"

Well, Anakin had wished for some advice. So, he ends up telling everything to Palpatine, about the silly question, about how it nagged him all through the night, about his own doubts of himself, how he's even questioning his place in the Order.

Palpatine sighs in a sympathetic way and comes out from behind his desk to place a fatherly hand on Anakin's shoulder, "This happens to us all at some point, Anakin. We would not be human if we did not...question ourselves from time to time. It is natural. And so is a certain amount of selfishness, no matter what your teachers may tell you, my friend, it is a fact of life that we all want what we want when we want it. To deny this is to deny one of the very things that makes us what we are. That all said, believe me when I say that you are far from the completely selfish creature you are suddenly seeing yourself as. Far from it, in fact, it takes a certain strength of character to give one's life in service to a greater ideal, does it not? You are simply too hard on yourself, Anakin, for I see before me a great man, one who will be the greatest of the Jedi as I have told you before, haven't I? There is nothing to worry about."

Somehow, the Chancellor always knew just what to say to calm his fears, to help him see things in the right light. Of course Palpatine was right and now his sleepless night seemed silly. Why had he ever thought feelings as natural as wanting some things made him an unfit Jedi? Thankfully he had a friend here to help him see these things. So, the Jedi smiles, "Of course, Chancellor, thank you for helping me understand."

Palpatine smiles as well, squeezing Anakin's shoulder comfortingly before returning behind his desk, "And now, if you do not mind, I believe we have some business to attend to?"

Dear Mom,

Today is my 10th birthday. I know you know that but I don't know if Master Obi-Wan does. I'm not even really sure if Jedi celebrate birthdays or anything. I know if I was at home with you it'd feel a lot more like my birthday than it does right now. Or even if you could have come with us here. I really miss you and wish you were here. Maybe I can ask Obi-Wan if we might could go free you for my birthday. He'll probably just say no, though. I don't understand why that is, Mom. Why did we have to leave you behind? Jedi are supposed to save people and sometimes...sometimes it seems like they don't just because of stupid reasons.

Anyway, I hope Watto wasn't too made that he lost me and that he doesn't take it out on you or anything. And I hope Threepio's helping you out and stuff. I'm sorry I didn't get to finish him before I left. I hope he isn't in the way.

I've been learning all sorts of things here, Mom. I know I talked about in my last letter how Coruscant is just one big city and all but really, I just can't get used to it. Tatooine is all open and stuff and Coruscant just...isn't. The coolest part about it is how to get anywhere you have to go flying. Too bad I have to spend most of my time inside the Temple. But it's not really so bad, I guess. There's this one room that's just full of fountains and gardens and things. It's so wizard! I don't think I'd ever seen so much water inside before (remember how I told you all about the lakes and stuff on Naboo?). I guess my training is going okay but a lot of it is really boring. I think the best part right now is when Master Obi-Wan tells stories about all sorts of adventures Jedi in the past have had. I like to pretend it's me. I know someday it will be. I'll be the best ever and come back and save you and everybody else, Mom. I really miss you. Obi-Wan doesn't hold me or sing to me when I wake up at night like you would.

Anyway, I guess I should go now. It's almost time for dinner. Tell Kitster I said hi if you see him, okay?

Love,
Anakin

And then young Anakin sneaks over to the open balcony while clutching a piece of folded flimsi in his hand. He leans way out over the edge, sticking his arm out as far as it will go until a breeze catches the scrap of flimsi he holds and carries it away. He watches the little white blur float away on the wind until he can't see it anymore. "Wish I could really send you a letter," he whispers before turning from the balcony and going back indoors.

[following this]

After divesting him of anything that might be construed as a weapon, they simply dragged him. He hadn't been stripped, yet. That would come later, behind closed doors. They had, however, taken his arm. The mechanical one. Being that it had been completely shorted out by the Emperor's Force Lightning barrage, this wasn't such a hardship. It would have only gotten in the way, after all. So, they dragged him. Down corridors, through doors. He allowed them, let them pull his unresisting body through the Palace, farther dorn and deeper in. For now, he remained limp, he had no choice. But while his body was quiescent, his mind was active. Furiously active. All of this activity led up to one simple thing. He was not about to allow himself to be stripped and imprisoned. Not about to allow Palpatine to hold Anakin's remaining child one second longer than it took him to get free of these guards and go fetch the child. He was not, in fact, going to allow Palpatine to stay Emperor for much longer. For while his Master believed Vader to have already betrayed him, only now does Vader make the conscious decision to act. To act in blatant defiance of Palpatine. To remove Palpatine from power. From life, in fact. For only now, through Palpatine's betrayal does the Emperor go from a vaguely trusted ally to an enemy who must be destroyed in Vader's eyes.

They said Anakin would be the greatest Jedi the galaxy had or would ever know. He became instead the most feared Sith of all time. And now, he becomes something else.

His limbs tingle as feeling returns.

He acts.

---

A minute later, every guard near him lies dead on the floor. He could have killed them all with the Force, could have crushed their windpipes or their hearts with a thought. He did it all by hand, he does not want any ripple in the Force to warn the Emperor of his apprentice's true revolt. That, and the feeling when his booted foort made a loud crunch sound issue forth from his opponent's body upon impact was rather viscerally enjoyable.

Freed of his captors and the effects of Force lightning having completely worn off, Vader stalks through the Palace unseen and unnoticed. He had spent many hours in the past year studying its entire layout, finding ways through it known by no one, the best routes to avoid any security cameras or guard patrols. He puts that time to use now, following the echoes in the Force that lead him ever closer to the only thing that matters to him now.

Luke.

---

As he nears his son, Vader can't help but wonder at the Palace's quiet. No alarms have sounded, there has been no increase in patrols and yet surely by now the guards tasked with his imprisonment have been discovered.

He hadn't bothered to hide them.

Surely then, the Emperor knows his wayward apprentice is loosed. Why does he not react.

This is the though that brings Vader up short. Palpatine does not react because he has no need to. He will act because he has foreseen this. He had to. This then, implies he knows Vader is coming for his son. That Palpatine is prepared. That Vader would only be storming directly into a subtle and well-conceived trap. He won't let Palpatine win that easily.

He won't let Palpatine win at all.

---

And so it happens that the escaped prisoner, formerly the Emperor's right hand, is spotted fleeing the Palace by several guards. Credence is lent to this when that wing of the Palace summarily explodes from the thermal detonaters left behind by Vader to cover his escape. Then, when a report of an attack by Rebels at the other end of the Palace is relayed to the emperor, Palpatine sits smug in his throne, pleased to have uncovered Vader's plot and seen his traitorous apprentice's true colors. Vader was too headstrong, too impatient, making his move, too soon. He, and his little Rebels would be crushed.

And so it also happens, that with so many little distractions that begin to eat away at the Palace's defenses, distractions tailor made to exploit weaknesses only an insider who helped design those defenses would know about, a small nursery, high in one of the towers is paid almost no attention at all. Especially now that it is obvious Vader has left his child to the Emperor. Which really should have been obvious when Vader disappeared for weeks without taking his children with him then.

And so, no one besides a small, blonde-haired, blue-eyed infant sees Vader slip into the room. No one sees him scoop the infant up into his one arm.

No one sees them leave as Vader runs out of the room, hopefully taking the child to safety.

[continuing in otherways]

Karma is not a word Anakin is familiar with though, the concept? The concept he is intimately and indubitably familiar with.

Every action has a consequence whether the action is good or bad, whether the consequence is. That is something all Jedi are taught from the day they enter the Temple until the day they become one with the Force. Technically, one could say that all beings are taught this concept in some form or other throughout their lives but probably none so obviously, so repeatedly, so insistently as the Jedi.

Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate, Hate leads to suffering.

Actions and consequences. What goes around comes around. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. These are all things he's heard, in different words, from his teachings at the Temple.

It is the Jedi way to stop and think about what one is doing and the resulting consequences of that action before ever doing it.

Anakin never liked that. He's much more likely to do what needs to be done and then think about the results once it's over with. This has, quite possibly, caused Obi-Wan to start going prematurely gray.

Anakin understands the concept of consequences.

Just, sometimes, he doesn't really think they apply.