Negotiations with a Lightsaber

Anakin's wish was simple.

But, of course, incredibly self-centered. Though he wouldn't ever see it that way, when all he saw was that what he wanted would make life better for everyone. Naturally, he wouldn't see or would ignore the consequences.

Anakin would wish -- had wished, but it had yet to come true -- that everything would work out the way he thought it should.

That way, he could be a Jedi and a husband.
That way, there would be no more slavery.
That way, there'd be no Separatists.
That way, he'd be on the Council and a Master.
That way, he'd never have to lose someone he loved.
That way, he'd even cheat death.

And, perhaps, when he Palpatine held out his hand to him, Anakin for a moment didn't see it as a harbinger of dark times ahead, of the choice to travel down the dark path. Perhaps all Anakin saw was just his wish, finally coming true.

==
Muse: Anakin Skywalker
Fandom: Star Wars
Wordcount: 153

Once was a fluke, the product of his guilt, perhaps, for leaving her. Twice...might be chalked up to his anxiety over the first compounded by his guilt.

But three times? Three nights in a row where his sleep was interrupted by terror and pain and he woke up covered in sweat and throat raw? That was something to pay attention to.

Even when others told him the dreams would pass in time, he knew they wouldn't. She was out there, in pain somewhere, she'd die if he didn't find her.

He never should have left her. He should have made them take her too. Why had he just left?

Because he'd been a stupid, trusting child, of course. He hadn't known any better.

But that was a lie. Of course he'd known better. Even then he'd known what life was really like. He'd had no illusions about what could happen to her, especially if Watto sold her to someone else. Being a child wasn't an excuse. Not in the least.

He'd have to go back. No matter what Obi-Wan said.

So, in honor of Skippy's List, I was inspired to make one for Anakin. Some of these were taken from Skippy's list word for word because they fit so well, some have had words changed to make them better blend with the Star Wars-verse, and some I made up all on my lonesome.

Feel free to add more in the comments if you think of any.

( 51 things Anakin Skywalker is not allowed to do. )

Which is the more exquisite sensation: revenge, relief, or vindication?

They deserved every bit of his revenge. His anger. They deserved the death he brought to them. Even now, years later, he believes that. Even now, when he imagines that night he has to work to feel guilt enough to drown out the memory of how powerful he felt. Righteous. It's not the cold shiver of fear he feels in his spine when he hears the echo of the Tusken screams in his memory but a frisson of energy, the whisper of, you could feel like that always. The guilt he works to feel -- because he's supposed to be guilty, isn't he? -- doesn't ever quite stop him from feeling that, given the same choice, he'd do it all over again. Gladly.

there's a certain sly sort of pleasure in repaying Obi-Wan one of his pranks, one of his cleverly witty little one-liners in one of his own. in watching the consternation on his Master's face when Kenobi realizes he's been had. Anakin's always enjoyed that.

The feeling washes over him in a cold, icy wave. He doesn't know! And he is utterly, irrationally glad he won't have to explain to anyone what all he did on Naboo. For a moment, he thinks Obi-Wan will ask, but his Master remains silent and saves Anakin from having to lie. Anakin wasn't a liar but for this? He would. Even to Obi-Wan. Especially to Obi-Wan.

the story Palpatine tells Anakin is like a breath of air for a suffocating man. it gives him hope he can save his wife, a chance that he hadn't had before. it's something. and he figures the relief he's feeling probably shows even on his face. he can

do something this time.
When he no longer wears his braid, when the ceremony is complete, he feels it inside of him. A fierce feeling of pride, of course, but also vindication. Justification that he did deserve the title of Jedi. And while he's pleased and happy and honored to accept this title, he's also looking at the Master's around him and thinking, you didn't think I could do this. You didn't want me here, but I did it. In spite of you.

there's a moment there, at the end when he's looking up into his son's eyes that he feels it. that fierce little flame of pride that's more than merely pride.

vindicated, it says. and he is. a lifetime of making the wrong choices but choosing her had never been wrong. not when the result was the man who knelt over him. not when he'd finally done what he'd always been meant to do. he smiles...

...and then the Force envelopes him. he's home.

The thread of the life of a Jedi was the Force, woven through with duty, service, and honor. Anakin learned this at a young age, though not so young as the others. These things were a part of his life, as well. But there were other things already entangled in with his threads that other Jedi did not have. His pattern was different.

The tapestry of Anakin Skywalker's life was woven through with threads as dark as night, constant reminders of that within him he tried to keep under control but couldn't, quite, simply release. One wouldn't have to look very closely, either, to see the swath of deep crimson that showed where he loved fiercely. Nor would it be hard to miss the bright blue for friendship and loyalty. Here and there, scattered about would be threads of gold tied in knots to tie him to others. There would be a strong line of deepest purple for his jealousy and his pride.

But even as the threads grow darker, around and through it all would be the bright thread of the Force and of Destiny defining him and guiding him through. Even when he no longer sees it, it's still there.

He'd had an errand to run, ostensibly. One that had taken him to the Senate.

If he dawdled a little, peered into the great Senate chamber curiously, he was sure no one would notice, or care.

As long as he was back to the Temple by dinnertime, Obi-Wan wouldn't come after him, anyway. Of course, the Chancellor might get upset if he kept the great man waiting too long and at thought, Anakin quickened his step.

He must have quickened it a little too much for one moment he was striding quickly down a corridor toward the lift that would take him to Palpatine's office and the next he was...

...where was he?

The damn droids were getting smarter.

That thought made him smile, despite himself. Usually, Anakin liked droids, after all and here he was spending most of his time destroying them. Kriffing Separatists. And now their droids were getting smarter.

He stared across the field before them, and at the defenses that lay on the other side behind which he knew those droids were waiting for them to charge headlong into the deadly hail of blasterfire they were certain to lay down as soon as even one trooper headed out there. Anakin hated ground battles and for a moment, he glanced up at the cloudy, foreboding sky and wished he'd been allowed to bring a squadron of fighters in to just strafe the damn base. Or that he'd just gone ahead and done it anyway. But no, the Seps had made their base out of a town, used innocents as living, breathing shields and a strafing run would only kill the ones they were supposed to be saving and made Anakin's and the troopers' jobs a hell of a lot harder. Still, he looked wistfully up at the sky. This whole battle could be over by now...

...but there was no point in wishing for something he couldn't do, so he set his mind to the task at hand. How not to turn this field in front of them into a killing field. Well, not one for his troopers anyway. Briefly, his thoughts turned to Obi-Wan, who was leading a mission on the other side of the planet. This would be easier if the other Jedi was with him, as well. But again, it was only a waste of time to wish for something he couldn't have and once more, Anakin turned his thoughts to the battle at hand as the troops around him waited with the kind of patience one could only get out of a being utterly bred for war.

When Anakin began to smile, the lieutenant beside him asked, his comm unit crackling, "orders, General?"

Anakin's smile broadened and he waved out at the field, "we'll need to draw them out before we all go in there."

The lieutenant nodded, "we can send a detachment of a few-..."

With a curt gesture of his hand, Anakin cut the clone off, "No, I can handle this. You just wait for my signal."

The clones were good, but Anakin was better, and with the Force, he was faster. He could draw them out, draw their fire, and then the clones could move in and blast 'em to bits.

Good plan.

Prompt:“ Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.” C. S. Lewis.
Character: Anakin Skywalker
Fandom: Star Wars
Wordcount: 432
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Anakin doesn't belong to me, he belongs to George Lucas and Lucasfilm. Just borrowing. No money made or intended to be made off of this, ever.

When he was a slave on Tatooine, he learned by doing. There were no schools for slaves, and Watto had neither the time nor the inclination to show the young boy how to do something more than once. After that, it was up to Anakin to figure out how to get it done, and getting it wrong would not end well. He learned quickly, as a result. He learned how to build machines and droids and other mechanicals by tinkering with them. Try putting this here and see if it works. If it didn't, he might only end up with a lungful of smoke and a coughing fit, but he might end up with a ruined machine and all sorts of consequences from Watto he didn't dare think too much about. If it did work, it often worked well, and young Anakin was understandably proud of this.

Podracing was the same way. No one told you how brutal it was, they didn't need to. But nor did anyone really understand what it was like until they sat behind the stick of their own pod. And for a young boy, it was even harder to understand. But the first time he saw someone's pod go crashing into the side of a canyon wall, the first time he felt just how close he'd come to doing the same thing, the first time another racer sent Anakin's pod careening out of control with a well-timed push, Anakin learned. He had to. It was that, or dying.

Later, at the Temple, Anakin still learned by doing. By feeling it, having it happen. He hated waiting for something to be shown to him several times, it made him feel slow and stupid, as if his teacher had no faith in his abilities to pick it up the first time, as if he still heard the echo of Watto's grating voice in his ears that he was a stupid human who couldn't understand something shown to him. He didn't care if trying a new manuever in lightsaber training resulted in bruises and burns after he'd only seen it once. He'd remember those bruises and burns. He learned from them. The next try was better and the third, almost perfect.

The hardest lesson of all to learn though, came much later, and lasted for decades. It began with two simple words, "I'm pregnant." and it didn't end until he did, years and years later, staring up into the blue eyes of a boy, his boy, his son. "You already have, Luke. You were right about me. Tell your sister...you were right...."

[This is so AU for Anakin it should be the striked out version of him. That is, it just came to me but has little to do with the Anakin I roleplay. Or the canon version. Uhm. Unless Nic wants to help me change that?]

If Anakin had learned nothing else from Obi-Wan, it had been how to make the perfect pot of tea. This was a useful skill since Obi-Wan rather liked tea, and because Anakin found it instrumental in relaxing his Master. Which was convenient when Anakin wanted something. Like getting out of a few hours of meditation. Surely with the judicious application of the perfect pot of tea, Obi-Wan would forget and go straight to sleep.

Hmm, maybe he should add cookies. Not even Obi-Wan could resist that combination and surely they'd distract his Master from even thinking about meditating. It was a great plan.

A great plan with one flaw.

As soon as Obi-Wan entered their shared quarters, he looked at Anakin curiously. "Tea and cookies? I hesitate to ask what the occasion is. Or maybe, what you did this time?"

Anakin made a face, "I didn't do anything. I haven't done anything in...uhm...at least a week. And it's not an occasion. I just. Wanted tea. And cookies." Well, he always wanted cookies, but that was a whole 'nother pot of tea as it were.

Obi-Wan just raised an eyebrow and poured himself a cup of tea and munched on a cookie. "Mm-hmm. Well, I do have to commend you, my padawan, this is the perfect snack to have before we begin our meditations."

Anakin tried, but didn't quite, suppress his groan. Obi-Wan just hid his smirk behind his cup of tea while his defeated padawan poured his own cup and snagged a cookie or three. There was no point in arguing with his Master when his plan had already been found out. Plus, it might prompt Obi-Wan to forgo the snack and go straight to the meditating. So instead, Anakin drew the snack out as long as he could, hoping Obi-Wan might give up which eventually prompted his Master to comment, "Padawan, that may have worked when you were nine but it is hardly likely to work at the age of seventeen."

So Anakin just gave Obi-Wan a wide-eyed innocent look and gulped down the rest of his tea and a cookie. "Okay, Master, I'm ready." As I'll ever be.

Obi-Wan smiled and gestured to two cushions resting nearby on the floor, taking his place on one and waiting while his student settled onto the other. Nearly in unison, they both closed their eyes and took in deep breaths before exhaling slowly and relaxing into the embrace of the Force.

It should, perhaps, be explained that the actual meditation Anakin didn't mind all that much, it's just he preferred its more active forms and really disliked having to sit still for very long, often finding himself cramping as he did so, and it taking ages for him to just let go as he was taught, which left him frustrated. Tonight, however, it was easy. Maybe it was the tea. Master and Padawan sank into the Force, letting their spirits free.

Once he got to this point, Anakin usually found it exhilarating but tonight it was even more so and it took him a few moments to understand why until he realised he was sensing Obi-Wan's feelings as well and he could tell Obi-Wan felt it too, each one's emotions magnifying the other's in a continuous loop. He'd never felt anything like it before and it seemed Obi-Wan hadn't either. Well, not quite in the same context, anyway. If he hadn't been so caught up in it, he might have wandered if they should stop, but that doubt didn't enter his mind at all and Obi-Wan didn't pull away. In fact, they both grew closer, their presences in the Force blending together and entertwining until, if one could watch, they would have only seen one unified presence there for one blinding moment.

It was exhausting, it was exhilarating, it was glorious, and then it was gone and both master and apprentice dropped back into the real world covered in sweat and staring at each other in wonder.

Title/Prompt: When the world says, "Give up,"
Hope whispers, "Try it one more time." --Author Unknown
Character: Anakin Skywalker, Shmi Skywalker
Pairings: N/A
Character's fandom: Star Wars
Word count:
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I am not Anakin. I am not Hayden. Purely doing this for entertainment and to better my writing skills. All Star Warsian things belong to George Lucas/Lucasarts/Lucasfilm/whatever and whoever that isn't me. Thank you, goodnight.

( Every race he'd been in, he'd lost. )